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Shame Free Sexual Education: Part of Building a Culture of Consent

Shame and Sex have a very unhealthy, but long lasting relationship in our society. That relationship has been handed down, generation to generation, with many societal supports fostering this lingering belief that our bodies and minds are dirty and wrong for being sexual.

When we support shame free sexuality, we are supporting the following:

  1. The right to know about our own bodies, which in turn creates an understanding our arousal and pleasure responses to certain types of touch in certain contexts.
  2. The right TO our bodies which includes the right to WANT touch or the right to not be touched without our enthusiastic consent.
  3. The responsibility of our own sexual actions, specifically our responsibility to be 100%  sure that the person we are touching WANTS that touch, in that moment, in that way, by us.
  4. The empowerment to seek out sexual pleasure and intimate relationships in ways that reflect our own individuality, rather than only in the rigid ways others might set out for us.  This includes being able to say FUCK YES!!! to touch we want, being able to express boundaries and limitations, and having the power to explore our own sexuality.
  5. The right to express our own personalities through many different avenues, from how we dress and talk, to the way we move and what interests we have.
  6. Our right to learn about the social construction of gender, and to choose to refuse to conform to those bizarre expectations, and instead to discover our authentic selves.
  7. The free access to birth control, sexual health products, sti testing, medical services etc, without prejudice.
  8. Research on sex, sexual pleasure, and sexuality that is intersectional, viewing people as equally capable of sexual pleasure and intimate relationships regardless of their race, gender, ability or class.

When we shift the conversation to one that is sexually empowering, we create a culture in which people as individuals are empowered to say yes and no.  That empowerment fosters open communication about sex, rather than the assumption based culture we have now.


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