Thanks Jenn for that! I agree, it can be challenging to figure out when it is ok to ask questions and when it is not.
For us at ASPECC we tend to let the person we are curious about set the tone. If they are the one teaching about that topic, then to some degree they have consented to being asked qeustions and to teaching us more about it. If they are socializing with us, and they say “I am _________, if you have questions I am happy to answer” then we ask questions. Otherwise we educate ourselves through reading, videos, courses. For me, it is about honouring the emotional labour of the other person, not expecting them to do that labour and being grateful when they do.